Nerd-Life Balance?

Okay, so, it's been a while since I blogged. Whoops. I should always remember that cartooning is good for the soul...almost as good as chocolate!







So, when in the course of human events it becomes necessary to give in to political nerd-dom and watch something terrifying, I can only hope that an evening at the beach + drawing a drawing = Bloom not tacking the TV during the GOP Debate. Let the shitshow commence!

Geography is EZ

Good news, webizens! Bialystock and Bloom are accepting guest postz on a limited basis. You're welcome!


I am going to call this contributor Ulla for several reasons: thematic; she is a top-notch bombshell, though she may or may not be blonde; her knowledge of geography and fauna puts her several notches into the "awesome enough to contribute" category; and she breaks frequently into song.

Summer time, and the livin' is easy

Ah. Times like these, after a really great summer-evening run, I am always disposed to feel more kindly toward creation, even all the annoyances and complications.





Of course, this is probably because I am acutely aware of EVERY SINGLE VARMINT I crush underfoot, and damn is that a satisfying feeling. Ahhhh.

Interwebs fail?

It's like I always say: a book a day keeps the psych ward away!



Of course, the interwebs' (probably brief) functionality is responsible for my ability to gift you, world, with this cartoon about lacking the interwebs. THINK ABOUT THAT.

B-Nana, Hey-Nana

but then, aren't we BOTH B-Nana?

Don't Tell me What Color Your Eyes Are

my husband must hate me.

Dinner c. 1992...

I am apparently still 5 years old, and feed myself as such.





Of special note: this dinner plate COMES with a face drawn on it. It is SPECIFICALLY INTENDED for playing with your food, and I have one in my kitchen.

On my face-plate: dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets 'moles', ketchup lipstick smear, and boxed Kraft mac&cheese hair.

Friendship is the best ship?

Some days, I am just too tired for this.


I might be a terrible person. Friendly warning. Or at least a warning.

WTFBLUMBY

Dear Bloom,

Today my husband, Cheswick, told me to "Google Blumby." Fuck.

Sorry that I've now given you a nickname about shitty blow jobs. Literally. LET'S NOT ILLUSTRATE THIS.

Love your terrible friend,
Bialystock

Lars and Bialystock: Part I

BrainSTORM

Rappin' and creepin', creepin' and rappin'

Bialystock is a snoop.





BUT WHICH KIND??!!?!11/1?!???

Bloom is Flexible for Meetings

Bloom told me she could meet whenever because she's flexible... like Gumby. For realz, she be that.

Nouveau riche: NOM-able riche.

Yes, I realize I didn't technically draw this, but this eyeshadow is too good not to steal. Apologies to Anthony Hopkins; none to the terrible and terrifying bitch inspiring this masterpiece.

DOOM

When I said it all started here, I was lying. It actually all started here:

A friend asked me to draw him a flamingo. I was having a bad day.

Times to do the dishes

I Haz LEarning!

Dailylogosaurus

It all started here. We do a daily log of income at the end of the day and well... one thing led to another.

Sue is a cheapskate.