BADDITUDE

BAD ATTITUDE BETTY IZ SO STABBY

Celery

Bialystock

thinking about eating one of my fingers off

there are no carbs in that right?

and i mean if i gain weight from eating my own finger it doesn't count

Bloom

I don't think so.

Bialystock

because i ate it. so it's gone

Bloom

you are right; that would be a zero sum eating game

you just won game theory!

congratulations!

Bialystock

so if i am right, eating your own body is like eating celery

SO... CELERY IS HUMAN

Bloom

I think you are right

CELERY IS HUMAN OMB

office of management and budget? what?

I MEANT OMG

[Insert work-related commentary regarding some things]

Bloom

see, this is why I don't know what I'm doing

of course our name should be in it

sorry I suck

Bialystock

no, see. we are a team

i need you to be clever

and you need me to be grant-focused

SEE

WE ARE 1 PERSON

WE ARE CELERY

4th of July

I can't recall the last time the 4th of July was on a Wednesday. I was probably in college and it probably didn't matter.

For all future July 4ths that will fall on a Wednesday I would like to suggest we celebrate on ANY OTHER DAY:
Sunday: Sunday = weekend. Sure you'll have to work TOMORROW but at least you didn't have to work YESTERDAY
Monday: Extension of weekend, see Sunday
Tuesday: I will take Monday off and have a 4 day weekend! (see Sunday)
Thursday: I will take Friday off and have a 4 day weekend!
Friday: No brainer.
Saturday: No brainer.

Wednesday is THE WORST DAY FOR ANY SORT OF HOLIDAY. Get with it, America. Do like the Pilgrims and Native Americans with Thanksgiving and plan your crappy birthday to be the first Friday of July. You didn't even serve birthday cake at your birthday this year. Lame.